Finally Us (True Love) Page 9

  I frown. Damn. I really am bad at reading women.

  “El’s with a client right now, but she’ll be finished in ten minutes,” Courtney informs me.

  “Would it be okay if I went back just for a second?” I ask, trying to use my charm on her.

  She twists her mouth to the side as she thinks about it. “Well, we’re not really supposed to do that. But I can walk you back and check in on her to make sure it’s okay.”

  I nod and she comes around the desk and leads me down the hallway. I look in Gary’s office as we go by but see he’s not in. When we reach El’s room, Courtney smiles at me then knocks lightly and opens the door. “El…”

  And there stand El and Austin caught in a lip lock from which they break immediately.

  What the fuck?

  I push past Courtney and go inside the room. “What the fuck?” I vocalize.

  El dips her head and backs away from him, at least having the sense to look like she feels bad, I mean, she did have sex with me only hours ago, but Austin just smirks at me and now it’s on.

  “What the fuck, asshole? She’s mine!” I snarl as I move to him and get in his face.

  “Yours? That why we’ve been seeing each other for the past two weeks?” he asks.

  “Yeah, mine.” We do the typical guy thing where we stand staring at each other just waiting for the other to make a move.

  “Guys,” El finally says.

  Austin and I continue glaring at each other, neither of us looking at her. I so want him to make a move so I can beat the shit out of him. I’d have to use only my left arm, but I’m all in. I’ve got a good four inches on him and at least twenty pounds. Yeah, I can take the fucker.

  “Jag, please,” El says as she puts her hands around my bicep trying to pull me away.

  I finally look down at her and see the tears in her eyes, which makes me back down. Only for her, though. I smirk back at him making it clear that he’s lucky she interrupted and he snorts. I’m so going to kick his fucking ass soon.

  “Austin, stay here,” she tells him as she pulls me out into the hallway closing her door. Courtney’s still standing there with her mouth hanging open, but she leaves us when the phone at her desk starts ringing. We follow her but then El leads me into an empty room and closes the door. We stand there, her looking at the ground, me watching her not believing I just saw her kissing another man.

  Starr was totally wrong. El was saying me goodbye this morning.

  And I’m telling you now, that bullshit stuff she and I went through earlier when we broke up? Mere child’s play. This shit kills and I now know what real pain is.

  “Jag, I-I don’t know what to say,” she says and her head comes up and she looks at me, the tears falling down her cheeks now.

  “You want him…” I say incredulously, putting a hand on the counter to steady myself.

  She shakes her head slowly, crossing her arms over her chest and looks back down and huffs out a laugh. Well, I’m glad she finds this so fucking humorous.

  “It’s not like that,” she replies, looking up at me, the torment clear on her face.

  Now I let out a laugh. “No? What’s it like then, El?” My eyes pierce hers as I wait for an answer.

  And there they go. Her eyes glitter up at me as I see the anger moving through her as she clenches her teeth and her body tenses.

  “You threw me out this morning!” she hisses.

  “What was I supposed to do? I’d just made love to you and then you tell me you want someone else? Was I supposed to make you some fucking pancakes and shoot the shit with you after that?”

  “Made love? That’s what you called that?” Her arms are flailing now and I know she’s pissed. “You didn’t even kiss me!”

  “Well, I see you’ve made up for it with dickhead!”

  “His name’s Austin!” she screeches.

  “I don’t give a good goddamn what the fuck his name is! You lied to me!” I say back just as loudly.

  “Oh, my God! And just what did I lie to you about, oh, Master of All Fucking Lies? Huh?” She puts her hands on her hips as she glares at me.

  I lower my voice and say, “I’ve never lied to you. But you lied about fucking him. You told me you didn’t and then turn right the fuck around and tell me you did. Which one is it? What, can’t keep track of ‘em all anymore?”

  And she slaps the shit out of me. Jesus. How this woman can pack such a wallop, I’ll never understand.

  “I haven’t fucked him, Jag! You’re the only one I’ve been with!” she snaps through gritted teeth, hands back on her hips.

  I stare at her then ask, “You want him?”

  She lowers her head, shaking it and laughs again.

  Again, what’s so fucking funny?

  “I’m failing to see the humor here,” I say.

  She looks up at me and crosses her arms over her chest, still shaking her head as if I’m so dumb she just can’t believe it.

  “You want him?” I ask again.

  She takes a deep breath and blows it out, dropping her arms and putting her hands back on her hips. “I don’t know what I want.”

  My turn to blow out a breath. “Well, when you fucking decide, let me know.” I turn and open the door and leave, not glancing at Courtney on my way out. Thank God everyone who works here had to sign a nondisclosure agreement or she could make some damned good money selling this story to the tabloids.

  I fire up the Camaro and take off for home so tired of everything. My arm’s fucked up so I can’t go throw and let off some steam, I don’t know if I’ll be ready for preseason, and my relationship with El is up in the air.

  Just gotta love the fuck out of life sometimes.

  Chapter 13

  El

  Why are men so dumb? They can’t see what’s right in front of their eyes and everything has to be spelled out for them.

  After Jag left ProSport, I went back to my room to apologize to Austin.

  “It’s okay, babe. I get it. You’re a beautiful woman. I can see him wanting to keep holding on.”

  I retract my previous statement. Why is Jag so dumb?

  Austin apparently gets it. Not that I think I’m beautiful, but Austin understands what’s going on. Jag, on the other hand, is clueless.

  Austin seems fine with everything and takes off shortly after, kissing my forehead and telling me he’ll call later when I walk him out. When he’s gone, I turn and apologize to Courtney who tries to lighten the situation by chuckling and saying it’s fine, that she hasn’t had that much excitement in forever.

  “Welcome to my life,” I mumble and head back to my room to clean up.

  Should I explain things to Jag, tell him I want him back but point out that he’s so thick headed he can’t see it? Or should I call it a day, stay with Austin and see where things go with us?

  I’m so tired. Tired of thinking. Tired of wondering. Tired of everything.

  At ten o’clock that night, someone knocks on my door and I’m afraid to answer, not ready for a visitor of the virile variety. But when I look out the peephole, I see Rebecca, and frowning I open the door.

  “You need some ‘friend-tervention,’” she says as she walks in with Melinda Grant and Jackie Harris, two friends of ours from high school.

  “Oh, my God!” I scream and hug both of them. “It’s been forever!”

  I then turn and raise my eyebrows as I look at Bec who’s holding a grocery bag.

  “What? When you called today, I thought, what better way to spend my two days off than getting drunk off my ass with my best friend? Then I saw Melinda today at Abt, so I called her to see if she was free then we asked Jackie to come with too. So we got a cab, there are four of us now and it’s officially a party!”

  She walks to the kitchen and after setting down her things, gets out the blender. We follow her in as she starts taking items out of the bag.

  “Margaritas, mamacitas!” she says as she pulls out a large bottle of Patron Silver. Oh, boy.
We all stand watching as she gets four shot glasses out of the cabinet, fills them, grabs the salt, cuts up a lime then tells us all to “Come and get it.” How she has any energy to do this, I don’t know because her work schedule is nuts, but we don’t hesitate and do exactly as she says. After rubbing a lime on our hands and putting salt on them, she raises her glass and says, “To all the motherfuckers who fuck with our lives, fuck with our heads and fuck with our bodies.” Jackie starts giggling uncontrollably which makes the rest of us laugh. Then looking at me with a raised eyebrow nodding once, Bec says, “Cheers!” We clink our glasses, lick the salt off our hands, down the shots then suck on the limes.

  “Yuck,” Melinda says making a face. I can’t help but make a face too.

  “Get some music going up in here, El!” Bec tells me as she begins making our drinks, the blender going full force now.

  I snort then I walk into the living room to get my iPod going. Jag and Ross hooked up a sound system in the apartment years ago when Bec and I both lived here, and it’s a pretty nice setup.

  As I scroll through my playlist, I’m not sure I can handle acting as if everything’s peachy for everyone over the next couple of hours, but then it hits me and I start to get pissed off at myself when I realize I’ve been letting men decide how I feel for far too long. And that shit’s going to end right now, I decide. I’m a strong, independent woman, by God. Annnnd it’s taken me this long to figure out what Mom was saying. And here I thought Jag was the dumb one. Jeez. I find the perfect song and when it comes on, I dance my way back into the kitchen singing along with Kelly Clarkson’s “Walk Away.” Bec grins at me then we all start singing and dancing, laughing at each other.

  Four margaritas and two more shots later, we’re all sitting in my living room wasted and talking about, you guessed it, men.

  “Well, Matt’s had three years to pop the question,” Melinda slurs. “Three fuckin’ years!”

  “That’s a long time,” Jackie concedes. “Maybe you should proprose… proprose…” she starts giggling which makes us all join her as she tries again. “Proprose… Aw, fuck it! Maybe you should ask him!”

  I fall over on the floor laughing, hugging a pillow to me because that’s some funny shit.

  “I think Ross is gonna ask me soon,” Bec blurts and I sit up quickly and frown at her.

  “Whaaat?” I ask.

  “Yeah. He got Gatorade today,” she tells me.

  I scrunch up my face. “Oookay. I got a Mountain Dew today but you don’t see me askin’ anyone to marry me.”

  Now she falls to the floor laughing. I look at her, tilting my head to the side and slowly process what she’s just said. “You really think he’s gonna ask you?” I ask with a hitch in my voice. They belong together, but this is still a hit to my heart. Why can’t Jag and I get our shit together like they have?

  When she stops laughing, she looks up at me with a smile. “Yeah, I think he is.”

  My eyes water and I crazily start doing that Miss America hand fan thing at them which makes everyone start laughing at me. “Stop! You’re gonna make me cry!” I whine. “I’m so happy for you guys!” I say and fall drunkenly on top of Bec hugging her.

  She hugs me back and whispers, “Your and Jag’s time is coming. Don’t lose hope, babe.”

  And now I start bawling. And she starts crying with me. Then Melinda starts crying and so does Jackie.

  “Wh-what are we crying about?” Jackie asks after a few minutes.

  “Hell if I know,” Melinda answers and now we’re back to giggling.

  Oh, Patron, you are a friend of mine.

  I wake up at noon the next day and immediately hate Patron. I close my eyes and lie there listening to see if anyone’s stirring, not remembering if they left last night or not. The last thing I recall is standing on the coffee table using a hairbrush as a microphone and singing along to “I Will Survive.” Four times. Screaming at the top of my lungs. It’s a wonder the neighbors didn’t call the cops, but I’m pretty sure they’re away for the holiday, thank God.

  I need water, so I make myself sit up then lean back against the wall for a minute to keep from hurling. Ugh. Why do we always have to pay a price for the fun things in life? It’s not fair. When I think I’ve got my bearings, I turn and hang my legs off the bed for a few seconds then slowly stand and make my way to the bathroom. When I finish, I go into the living room to see everyone’s gone. In the kitchen, I get a glass and quickly down two glasses of water then take two aspirin with some of the third. Better.

  I look around and my eyes tear up again because Bec’s cleaned everything before leaving. She’s such a great best friend. I find my phone to call her and see I’ve got text messages from Jag and Austin. Yippee.

  Call me when you get this, Jag’s says.

  Good morning, beautiful. Call me soon <3, Austin’s says.

  Hm. If this were a contest, which one would I say is trying harder? I roll my eyes and decide to call neither. I’m going to enjoy my Saturday as the newly independent woman that I’ve made my mind up to be.

  Chapter 14

  Jag

  I can’t believe I haven’t talked to El in two months. She finally called after Thanksgiving and asked me to give her some time, so I am and I hate it. I’d asked her if it was just a ploy to get me out of the picture so she could date Austin, but she assured me she was going to tell him the same. I hadn’t seen any reports or heard that they were together, so I was trusting that she was being honest with me.

  I changed physical therapists because I wanted to respect El’s wishes, and at the end of January, two weeks before spring training was to start, my new therapist, Will, told me I was good to go. I was so fucking stoked I almost did a goddamned backflip when he gave me the news. I’d been working with the trainer and had built up to an eighty-mile an hour fastball, so I knew I was getting there, but hearing that I was released made something settle inside me. I now feel like myself again.

  The day before Valentine’s Day, I fly out to Mesa, Arizona, and begin training with the other pitchers and catchers. Coach has told me to take it easy, and I will, but I’m also so damned ready to get back into the swing of things and my arm feels great, I’m going to push myself nonetheless.

  Eddington is here also, but I’m not letting it bother me. I’m one-hundred percent focused on pitching and I’m not going to let him distract me.

  The first day wears me out. I think I threw a hundred balls and by ball sixty, my power was waning. I hated it, but I scaled back and started throwing curves and change ups, which are easier pitches. It’s now Friday, day two, and I pretty much had a repeat of day one, so by the time I hit my hotel room, I’m wiped. I’ve showered and eaten the steak dinner I ordered from a place in town, and now sit on my bed shirtless and wearing my sleep pants, leaning back on some pillows against the headboard with my eyes closed and I guess I fell asleep. When my phone rings, I’m so tired I don’t even look to see who it is.

  “Yeah?” I answer groggily.

  “Jag?” Ellen says.

  My heart leaps in my chest when I hear her voice and I sit up suddenly.

  “Yeah, I’m here,” I say. “Is everything okay?”

  There’s a stretch of silence before she whispers, “I miss you.”

  Damn. I’m still half asleep, but I think I heard her right. She misses me? God, I so needed to hear that right now. I let what she said wash over me, and it’s like her voice is a balm, healing all the bad, making everything better, making it all worth it. I lie back and relax into the pillows, closing my eyes again. “I miss you too, babe.”

  “Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”

  I called Ross this morning and asked him to order irises, her favorites, and send them to her.

  “You’re welcome. Happy Valentine’s. Wish I were there to take you to dinner.” I pause for a couple seconds not knowing if I should, but then I go ahead and say it. “Everest.” I’m hoping she’ll remember when we went there four ye
ars ago when I was first drafted.

  I’m also hoping she didn’t get anything from the assclown, but I keep my mouth shut. I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough if he spouts off tomorrow. Right now, just the fact that she’s called me is progress and I don’t want to screw things up.

  “Happy Valentine’s. Oh. Everest. That was… that was a good night…”

  Hell, yeah, it was a good night. A fucking great night.

  “I remember how beautiful you were in that black dress and those shoes. Stockings with a seam down the back.” Thinking about her dressed that way is making me hard. Fuck.

  “And you were very handsome in your black slacks and shirt, your charcoal gray sports coat. And you had stubble… that was… that was hot…”

  When she’d commented on my stubble at the time, I’d promised she’d feel it on the inside of her thighs when we got home and she had. Jesus. I don’t know where she’s taking this, so I’m reluctant to move ahead. I don’t want to make her mad by saying something stupid.

  “Do you remember what we did when we got back to my apartment?” she whispers.

  And she’s taking it there. I’m going for it now.

  “I do… ate your sweet pussy against the front door…” I reply quietly.

  I hear her suck in a breath and pray she doesn’t hang up.

  “Yes… I think I came three times just standing there… remember what happened next?” she asks in a throaty voice.

  “Bent you over the couch and fucked you from behind…” I hear her moan and I’m all in now, damn it. She took it there; I’m finishing it. “You naked, El?”

  “Yes…”

  “You touching yourself?”

  “Yes…”

  Christ. I haven’t touched her in two months and now we’re almost two-thousand miles from each other and this is sweet, fucking torture. I don’t know what this is she’s doing, and I can’t stop wondering what brought it on and if she’s just using me because she’s horny. Oh, hell, what the fuck am I saying? I don’t give a shit if she’s using me or not. I want her and this is hot.